Purchasing a new camera for Chuck

Now that I’m back from the wedding which presented me with a lot of problems, I want to present Chuck with a good digital camera. I want to buy him something which is much better than the one I lost for him. I guess my intention was to get him to appreciate my generosity and thoughtfulness.

I had a two major options. One was to purchase a decent quality camera from the white market. That would be easy and safe. The other option was to buy one from the grey market. It was riskier, but I could go for much better cameras in the same budget.

I don’t know if by luck or not, I happened to get in touch with a friend of mine who knew someone who knew a lot about making great purchases at the grey market. I decided to go for it. I bought a cool looking Nikon Coolpix 3200.

The feature list impressive. The shopowner had high opinions. I had high hopes.

But during the first two hours with the camera itself, I had a lot of trouble taking photographs in dark light situations. I feared the worst. I fear that my judgment was bad. Mainly because of the fact that A.’s camera, a Canon Powershot A400 was taking great photos in the same situation and that the same camera was available in slightly higher price range in the white market.

I think I’ve messed up again. And I wanted to so badly impress Chuck.

Straight version of the gay story

During the bus trip, I did something really devilish; something moronic at the same time. I was totally getting bored as the conversations intended to be pleasant were turning into hurtful arguments and critical reviews. That included Tsunami relief pros and cons.

I happened to mention something about the press conference. As the conversation progressed, I explained about some of the points raised by journalists and also some statements issued from our side. Some of those were about the inefficiency of the Government in bringing relief, grossly unethical medical practices in our neighboring state and the corruption in the government framework.

A couple of argumentative friends in our group started a thread, something very broad including everything that was happening in the world; bashing everyone – the Government, Tsunami Relief NGOs, hospitals, patients, relatives, politicians, journalists the rest of the people in the wedding party – except themselves. Of course, I got totally pissed.

At the same time as this was happening in the last row of seats in the bus, Ray and A., who are the best guys to hang out with in the group, were secluded three rows ahead. I wanted to badly run away from this all and talk with Ray. I couldn’t do that as there were no seats vacant near them.

I spotted a couple of my colleagues/friends were in the row just in front and were not involved in the discussion. Quietly I moved beside them and started conversing about how to be successful in sex life.

And as our discussion proceeded, I presented the straight version of my gay story. That included my voyeurism, involvement in extramarital relationships, planned promiscuity, mailing groups etc. I exaggerated a little bit. But they fell for it.

I don’t know if I should have done that. Why? Because if they come to know that I’m gay, that might make them realize that my intentions to work in the hospital are mainly attributed to fact that I have a crush on my chief.

On Chuck’s wedding day

I am glad that I got to share a room with Ray for Chuck’s wedding. I was feeling very down and it had been a long time since I opened out to Ray. I did just that taking about 2 hours while watching Scary Movie part 3. The movie was hilarious. That is why I didn’t feel quite as a bad at the time I was explaining about the problems with Chuck that I was having.

I was so relieved after. As anytime, Ray had plenty of sound suggestions. One of them was to decrease my interactions with Chuck for sometime until things cool down. I thought I’ll try that.

During the wedding, I tried to keep a low profile. Somehow, keeping a low profile and showing resentment towards the deal that Chuck was giving me means keeping out of group photographs. I did that my making myself busy by taking photos of everyone.

I’m wickedly insane.

Problems with Chuck

You know something that’s really pissing me off? Chuck has this habit of pulling my legs. He continually alleges that I’m a careless guy. It started off somewhere around the time when I discontinued going for jogging with him. Now, there have been a few instances where I mess up things. And those times, he just pulls my leg. About a week back, I purchased a couple of Hindustani instrumental CDs intended to be played during his wedding reception via my sister who was visiting me.

On that topic, I should clarify a lot of things.

• I consider that all Hindustani musicians are tremendously hot. They are old, they are distinguished and they are sexy in appearance.
  
• I consider the Santoor and Flute as the sexiest instruments.
  
• I could give head to Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasia any time of the day.

Actually, it was Chuck’s idea to get a Hindustani classical instrumental CD for the purpose. Someone had suggested Jal Tarang as the best option. I, being the audiophile that I claim to be, suggested the Santoor because of the fact that I think it is more sexy and apt for the occasion. My sister one CD each of Jal Tarang and Santoor when she came.

Being a good friend, I thought I will play them and check if they are good. One of them, a Santoor recital in Fm was skipping on my Sony Hi-Fi. Two bad things to note here. One, an easy one for the music connoisseur, is that the key (Fm) is not exactly suitable for pleasant occasion such as a marriage reception. Despite that fact, the CD, when it was playing properly, was so sexy sounding. Therefore, I had to make it play somehow.

Immediately, I decided to inform Chuck. I explained that the CD might very well play on his CD player and on some more advanced CD players. I also promised him that I would try to burn it on my computer so that some recording error that might have been there might be resolved. To do just that, I put the CD on the CD tray on my puter and tried playing it. No problems there. I was relieved.

Later on that evening, I had to go out with my sister. I happened to go via Chuck’s place. I took the CDs along with me. Or so I thought. I had forgotten the CD on my puter and just took the case instead. When I visited his home, Chuck had gone out. I gave the CD cases to his folks. In the night, when Chuck realized this, he called me up and ridiculed me for my stupid deed that day. I felt bad.

Of course, someone can just put aside this matter as if it was insignificant. But I can’t. I couldn’t rather. And since I’m the one getting affected, it was significant.

Similarly, he doesn’t trust me for turning up on time for stuff. I, in general, am good at keeping times. Last year, we had gone for a tour. We had to catch a bus for that. To make sure that I arrived, he informed me that the bus’ starting time was half an hour before the actual starting time. I reached 10 minutes before the time he told me. I waited for 25 minutes at the waiting area and called him. When I asked him where he was, he said he had just started from his home. I was shocked. When he turned up, I asked him if he had intended to lie to me. He said yes but simply shrugged it off.

Cut to today afternoon. Due to the big mess that I was in (with the press conference and all), I was not at home when he had called to confirm plans. He told my mother that he would start by 12.30 pm from his home and asked our group to wait for the bus by 12.45 on the main road. When I came back from the conference, it was 12.10 pm. I asked my Mom and she informed me about Chuck’s phone call.

Since I wanted to badly not mess up things, I made everyone hurry to get ready by 12.30. I thought that since Chuck had called an hour back, he wouldn’t vary his plans. I decided to not call him up because I thought that it is not necessary to unnecessarily bother him.

Take a look at what happened. We waited for about 30 minutes in sweltering heat of the mid afternoon sun before I decided to call Chuck to see if everything is alright. He coolly said that he was about to start from home soon. I know most people would have just bursted out at Chuck had they been in my place. But I couldn’t. I had lost his camera. I wanted his appreciation. I want to get accepted by him. I want to remain chums with him so badly, I have a bias towards him.

Cut to a tea break during our trip – we were enjoying some snacks at a really shitty restaurant. I went up to Chuck and asked him if everything was alright. The same Chuck who was smiling and joking with everyone seemed to turn serious. He said everything was okay. During that conversation somewhere, he said this – ‘Now that you have lost the camera, you don’t have any defense against my claim of your stupidity.’

Of course I felt bad. I don’t know why. Sometimes I feel that I deserve this. Sometimes I feel that I don’t.

Travel in the bus

Two days of total horror pass and we are about to travel to the place where Chuck’s wedding is about to take place. And guess what, I have too many things to do on that very day.

I get up late. I engage in some older men photo viewing sessions. I almost forget about a press conference that I was supposed to attend – a ‘Meet the Press’ programme called by the local press club for interacting with the team which went for Tsunami relief.

After all the trouble I put to impress Chuck once again, this was pointless. Ever since the camera-loss event, Chuck seem to not trust me at all. That denies me chances to impress him. I want him to ask me to do something.

When he finally does that (he wanted me to collect the flowers for his wedding), I have this press conference on my schedule. I wanted to badly attend the conference when Chuck asked me this. But since then, the charm has sort of disappeared. Maybe because Chuck asked me to not mess up organizing the group of people who were also attending the wedding. He had entrusted me with that. The group included 8 friends/colleagues and my Mom and Dad.

The press conference is about two hours before the planned departure. Therefore, I think twice about attending the conference. Why? I don’t want to create a bad impression on Chuck.

I call my friend to tell him that I’m not coming to the conference. Instead of him, his friend answers my call. Before I start explaining, he starts to talk.

’Reach there in 30 minutes. Wait for us there. We are a little busy with something. There has to be someone at the club early. We’ll meet you there. Bye.’

I say ‘Okay.’

That was how easy it was. I had to shave, shower, dress in 30 minutes and reached the venue in the 41st minute since the conversation. There was no one there. I waited till about 20 more minutes until my friend came. It took further 30 minutes for the conference to start.

The conference was interesting. My first experience of this sort was revealing; as to how one should present points of view to journalists. I enjoyed it. Lots of debatable points. But not worth discussing here.

I rushed back home just in time to have lunch and hurry everyone to the pre-defined place by the local bus stop where the bus which will carry us till the place where Chuck’s wedding is to be held. I hope that the trip won’t be torturing.

How not to break bad news

I can’t figure out how I should have broken the news better. Already, Chuck has indicated twice in a manner that hurt me that I’m weird and I don’t care about such big losses. He thinks that I’m was too cold-hearted to just say this –

‘Hello Chuck. I’m afraid I’ve some bad news for you.’

‘What is it?’

‘I have lost your camera today. It was in the hospital. Someone took it from my bag.’

‘You must be kidding…’

‘No, I’m not. I lost it. I know it is my fault to have not taken it with you to the tables. I’m sorry.’

‘Why did you HAVE to take it to the hospital on your theatre day?’

‘I was just trying to complete the collection of photographs. I’m really sorry Chuck. Anyway, the present problem is that your wedding is around the corner and we need to get a digital camera to take snaps. Can you think of any options?’

And the phone conversation which transpired on that fateful day yesterday carried on for about another minute or so. But the line which irritated him most, the one which I was most proud of having delivered, is the one with ‘… the present problem’.

And I thought I was awesome in handling the situation. I’m deranged.

Lament

I’m depressed. Chuck is not talking to me. I want to apologize to him in person. But he doesn’t seem to have the time. He appears to be pleasant with everyone else except me. I think that he hates me now.

Maybe I’m envious of his former best-friend; someone who was in his gang of friends from childhood. Chuck hangs out with this guy who I will call ‘Appey’. Appey is working in the UK and has taken leave to attend Chuck’s wedding.

He goes with Chuck for shopping, for running errands, hanging out etc. Chuck seems to have time for all that. But when I ask him if he has time to talk with me, he says no. I feel bad. I feel bad about the fact that I’m being a trouble for someone who I really want to impress instead.

Chuck, who entertains everyone eternally, is like a brick wall to me over the phone. What did I do wrong? More importantly, how to set it back to right.

I’m sure I’m about to over-exert myself to insane levels and in that process feel further bad.

Losing a camera

I’m a big bitch. A big clumsy pig-head. I try to help too much. And in that process I dig a huge enough hole to sink my head in and rot in peace. That is how things get screwed up in my life.

I was supposedly trying to build an archive of photographs in our department at the hospital. Whom for? For the benefit of humanity perhaps. For that I needed Chuck’s digital camera. Well, he trusted me with it.

Today morning, I wanted to make sure that all of the photos in my archive are excellent; a few of them were a little blurry. I took the camera from home. I carried it to the OT and kept in my bag in the dressing room. I forgot to take it with to the tables. And I assisted the last case.

That is all what is needed. Someone stole the camera. When I finally found it out, I tried to be super-cool; searched all the places methodically. Even acted like I didn’t care a bit.

But it is lost. ‘Stolen’ is the better word. But because I didn’t take the maximum precautions, ‘lost’ is what is most appropriate for the situation. Some worthless individual who might even be a medical student, has stolen the camera and made me suffer.

This is three days before his wedding. I am screwed.

I call up Chuck and break this news. I think I do such things without much of emotion. He is shocked. I fear the worst in our relationship is yet to come.

Professor + Dr. S.!

Another usual day at the hospital. I have another wedding to attend; this time my friend’s sister is getting married. I’m not close to this friend even. Why should I bother? You will understand why?

After the grand rounds, during which I’m constantly eyeing my professor, he asks if anyone is accompanying him to a wedding. No one volunteers. Suddenly, I work out the possibilities. I ask him

’Where is the wedding?’

’At the X Club Hall!’

‘What a coincidence, I’m too invited for the same wedding. I’ll come with you.’ Needless to say, everyone is surprised including me and my professor. I explain to everyone that my friend’s sister is getting married. My friend’s mother is the classmate of my professor.

So, we two walk towards the parking lot where hop on to Prof’s car and ride into the city. I have a couple of huge barrels of hope in my chest. First thing I notice is that he has the local FM station on. Now that is what you call hot! I have not seen anyone, and I mean anyone, doing what I consider a must for car travel.

I start a conversation on that. I learn that he loves listening to music through radio. I explain that I’m a radiophile myself. We talk about satellite radio and I learn that he is interested in buying a receiver himself. Doubly hot!

We talk about a lot of things. I carefully highlight his plus points. He is happy. I’m happy that he’s happy. I learn that he is very diplomatic. Very intelligent. Very hot.

Then the conversation stumbles on to my family. I explain that my father is a musician (classical eastern) and an semi-pro astrologer. He is very interested in Astrology; for his daughter’s wedding or so. He asks me if he can consult my father. I say YES! YES! YES! OF COURSE! YES! Okay, that was a bit exaggerative. I actually said ‘Yes, it is fine.’

When we reach the place, I’m awfully impressed with him and I have new hopes of him visiting my place. But there is a big problem. How can I hang out with him without feeling out of place.

We enter the hall and someone greets my professor. I don’t actually see his face but hear an authoritative, commanding, charming voice which turns to me and says

’Do you attend all marriages in the city?’

It was Dr. S! I couldn’t believe my luck when I realized that my professor was a batchmate of Dr. S. Prof was confused as to how we, me and Dr. S., were so familiar with each other. We explained it out. Then we involved in a conversation in which Prof held high opinion about my work ethic and general personality. I and Dr. S. kept pulling each others legs and I must confess that I felt that Prof was a little shaken at the way our conversation was progressing.

Later, I explained to my Prof how I and Dr. S. have gotten this ‘close’. I don’t leave the fact that Dr. S. always insults me in a myriad of ways.

In the process of waiting for the lunch feast, Professor introduces me to many other eminent members of the medical fraternity in the city. A few other hot men are there. But none were hotter than the two I was familiar with.

During this I noticed a flaw in my professor’s general setup. He kept to himself while Dr. S. was spraying charm all over. I guess my Prof was an introvert in the past and now is trying to shake up that attitude.

Just before the lunch, another bombshell was dropped. Dr. S. and his wife were planning to visit my mother after this. (I don’t know if I wrote about the fact that my mother was in a state of mild Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after her chain was snatched while she was enjoying an evening stroll). I was impressed with Dr. S. I felt proud of having a friend whose parents were so kind as to pay a visit to my mother. This is a first time experience for me. Never before did I have such a friend and parents set.

We three had a good lunch. I tried a lot of untried zones in the hitting on process on my professor utilizing my freedom with Dr. S. My professor carefully avoided comments. Something tells me that he is very intelligent.

I tried to pry further during the ride back. The closest I got to was to get my professor to agree to visit my home to consult with my father on astrology. He might have dropped in right then had Dr. S. and wife been not there. Anyway, now that it leaves a thread open, I’m happy.

What a day!

Dr. S works his charm

Today, I went to attend my friend’s wedding reception. She’s not at all close to me. Yet, I went because I thought I could meet some of my batchmates. I met my friend and namesake (the one who I go with to the zoo, indulge in discussions about tigers, jaguar, leopards etc.) and was talking with him by the side of the stage on which the couple were standing.

I felt someone poking at my thigh. Ignoring it at first, I continued talking with my friend. The poking didn’t stop. I turned back and guess who I saw? Dr. S.! My friend’s dad who has this authoritative persona and who continually stimulates me erotically with insults! Contradictory, oxymoronic even. I know. But it is true.

He and his wife were invited too for the wedding. I spent a precious 10 minutes with him. Enough to stimulate me for a day.

Then I met some other friends of mine. I was euphoric by that time. We were waiting for an opportunity to greet the couple in between a hundred others. I saw my friend (and bride) waving at me and walked forwards beckoning the rest of my gang with me. As I walked in front of the cameras, one of the camera men shouted this at me (this is the translated verision of course)

‘Hey little boy, move aside. Can’t you see the others waiting?’

It must have been the stereotyped dark trousers + light shirt which I was wearing. Maybe my thin frame. Evidence also points to the fact that I’m de-mustachioed.

But the truth is that insults like this are a common reality in my life. I take this in my stride. In fact, I converted it into a joke on myself and made everyone else in my group laugh.

Totally dumbfounded? Blame it on Dr. S. and his charm. May he live long!