Monthly Archives: February 2005

Helping fools

Last week, I’d posted at least twice about my uninhibited generosity in terms of help to people around me. I spent a good part of today helping someone who does not, by most standards, deserve it.

I helped a senior colleague of mine, a dumb woman actually, to prepare a topic presentation. The last time she did something of this sort, she was mangled by the chairing professor. She had seemed so naïve at that point. I thought that she must be helped. But my attitude changed once I started working with her. Apart from the fact that she is far from being intelligent, and that she is one of the lazy kind of persons who don’t believe in knowing what they are about to talk on, two particular things made me change my attitude about her.

  • A delusion that she held which came up in a conversation. She believes that the ‘gas’ from her stomach travels up the esophagus and and gets stuck at the base of skull and causes headache. For a medical professional, such banal notions are highly gross.
  • When we started engaging in conversation over a cup of coffee at a restaurant, she started talking about how naughty her son was. She tried to give me an example; an incident which happened 8 years back. She started describing a room in which the event occurred. She started describing the walls, furniture, lamps, tables, the objects kept on it, the approximate arrangement of the furniture, the proximity of a nearby tree to a particular window of the room etc. It carried on for about 20 minutes (I’m not joking here) and then she came to the point. She said that her son had climbed on the table to get her mobile phone and started playing with it. That is it. For this she had to waste 20 minutes of mine. That is totally revolting.

I guess you wouldn’t have a problem in deciding if you help such a person.

Starting shifting chores

Today, I started doing shifting-chores before I shift my arse out of my home town to the metropolitan city. Curiously enough, I started out with the re-building of my mp3 collection. I am very sad to admit that my once-enormous collection of Rock/Alternative songs has been destroyed thanks to a few ‘friends’ of mine. They simply lost the CDs or didn’t return them back. I used to be one of the pioneers in that genre in my home town. In fact, my mp3 collection was copied and pirated all throughout southern India if I’m not over-estimating.

I want to be meticulous in this aspect. Therefore I started searching for some software that would help me sort my mp3 collection with ID3 tags etc. I spent 12 hours of a perfect Sunday doing that. Finally, in the night I found one which seems good enough for the purpose.

In between, I took my mother to watch Black, the movie which I fell in love with 9 days back. She seemed to have liked it. If you are asking me why I took the initiative to take her out to watch a movie instead of Ray or Chuck, I’d say that it was an shallow effort from my side to impress my mother and making her believe that I’m still interested in doing things other than fighting with her.

Movies this past week

I watched three movies this week. All DVDs on my computer. They were so fucken different in all respects. I’ll just trying to act as if I’m a stinking overpaid critic of a glossy film magazine here by writing my personal reviews. I must warn you that the films are numbered according to the order that I started watching them.

1 – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

  • Story – awful
  • Acting – awful
  • Animation – awful

Actually, I couldn’t watch the whole movie. I swear I tried hard. But it is almost impossible. Especially the kid who plays Mr. Potter’s best friend role. He has early must have a juvenile variant of Parkinson’s – fixed surprised/scared expression all throughout the movie.

2 – Finding Nemo

  • Story – aweseome
  • Animation – awesome
  • Screenplay – awesomer
  • Voice-over – great
  • Fun – lots

Unlike the retro-disney films, Pixar films like Toy Story, Finding Nemo and the recently released The Incredibles have the cool, spunky attitude. I hate the regular Disney films like The Lion King and Aladdin etc. I firmly believe that they are meant only for kids under the age of 1 year and 2 months & for those demented persons about 87 years of age.

3 – Fahrenheit 9/11

  • Theme – very very relevant
  • Punch – refined, calculated mockery
  • Editing – could have been better
  • Director – Love Michael Moore

The first 1 hour or so of the movie is really good to watch. But enter the Average-American-Family-Son-Who-Joined-The-Military-And-Died-In-War part, it is boring. For an foreigner like me, I think that part is a little over highlighted. But Mr. Moore must have intended the movie for an Average-American-Family-Man. Ergo, it is fine.

The change

Last week, I posted about the outburst from my parents when I didn’t ‘help’ them learn the working of a mobile phone.

Today, I watched them happily exchange short messages with my sister. They had learned quite a bit. Last week, I asked Chuck about his problems while he taught his parents how to use a mobile. He admitted that it was hard. His Mom, who is pretty knowledgeable, still doesn’t understand SMSes.

Comparitively, my folks are already much better. But I think that they can still learn a lot.

I think what I did initially, which outraged my parents, was right. But I want them to say it to my face. That won’t happen, would it?

A nice one on Chuck

The other day I was at Chuck’s place and we were about to go out for a dinner party in a restaurant in the city. Chuck was in the shower. I was talking with his folks. (For those unaware, his Dad (Mr. Sreex) is such a hot ‘Dad’ that I have an irresistible but controlled crush on him. Chuck knows that I do and does have some fears about me visiting his place.)

We heard someone at the gate. Mr. Sreex went to see who they were. Apparently they were from a nearby temple and were collecting funds for a festival. Mr. Sreex had to pay Rs. 100 but he didn’t have change. He asked me if I had change for Rs. 500. I had and I handed him over 5 hundred rupee notes. He paid the guys at the gate. After this, he settled in his new ‘easy-chair’ watching TV while I went to Chuck’s room and grabbed a book to read.

Around the time when Chuck came out of the shower, I saw Mr. Sreex going into his bedroom. A couple of minutes later he came back and waltzed into Chuck’s room and said ‘Here’ and handed me over a Rs. 500 note. I nodded and took out the note from his hand and put it in my pocket.

Chuck, not realizing what had happened, was dumbfounded. I can imagine what thoughts must have gone through his mind when his sexy hot father hands an earnest, principled and skilled cocksucker like me half a grand. Later I explained what had happened and he smiled. I love this.

Webcam jinx

Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t yet tried to get myself a webcam. Especially because the main source of my sexual gratification is through the internet. Let’s be honest here. 95% of my contacts in the category ‘sex’ (Oh yes, I have such a category) also happen to come under the category ‘internet’. You can express this skewed relationship in a diagram like this.

How do I explain this? I think I’m worried about these reasons.

  • That those who watch me won’t like my face.
  • That those who watch me won’t like my body.
  • That those who watch me won’t like my dick.
  • I’ll commit myself to more and more of such viewing when I’m not comfortable with doing it.

But I still feel that I’m not returning the favor of about a half a dozen people who have bothered to show themselves (read stripping themselves to nudity). But I can’t help it. I’ve a big issue about my own physical appearance.

For those who noticed an haunting similarity of this post to those of Maddox’s The Best Page in The Universe – http://maddox.xmission.com
must note that such a similiarity is unintentional and can only be attributed to pure chance/coincidence.

(1, 34, 245 persons thought that the style of this post is copied from Maddox’s page – The Best Page in The Universe.)

Exhibitionist Doctor

Chuck never believes when I state, with statistical backing of course, the prevalence of male homosexuality in our hometown. He still hold firm on the belief that I’m making all this up. I quote from Ray’s gazillion experiences while cruising, without mentioning his name of course.

Similarly I, being interesting a variety sexual perversions like voyeurism, undinism, exhibitionism etc, also argue about their prevalence. He doesn’t buy my story.

But something has changed it all. I had told him about a 60+ doctor in my neighborhood who is well known for his unnatural tendencies. He is a notorious exhibitionist and womanizer. There used to be a time about 3 years back when I used to take my dog out for a walk in the morning to see his package in its full glory while he will be sitting on the porch of his home. He would be wearing a ‘lungi’ folded up so high that the only thing it covers is an area about 3 mm north and south of his groin fold. I told him about this guy. But still, he refused to believe me.

Yesterday, when he was giving me a ride home on his motorcycle, he saw it. It was late in the evening. We were riding past this Doctor’s house and there he was standing in front of the gate to his house with his butt facing us – I mean the real ‘buttocks’ facing us. He was wearing his traditional high-riding lungi alright. This time he was pulling it up with his hands to show us his ass.

I hope I manage to make him see some male-on-male action – real-time that is.

Angry folks

Two weeks back, I got my parents a mobile connection. Since then, I’ve been trying to make them understand how to make things work. Inexplicably, I’ve very little patience for them.

I have tried telling them the basics in navigating through the menus etc. But they don’t grasp that at all. When they repeatedly ask me dumb queries, I get really pissed.

Finally, I suggested that they use the user manual available with the phone and figure their way out themselves. Still, they repeat the mistakes.

Today, while I was having dinner watching a delightful episode of Spongebob Squarepants, my Dad was trying to send a message to my sister. He failed thrice. He asked me help thrice. All the three times, I said you can figure it out with the manual.

That is it. He exploded. He asked me to get myself out of the house and take the mobile, the computer and all the other things that I use with me.

I feel bad. But it did reconfirm the fact that the decision I took to move out of home forever is wise.