The AV photo album

After countless hours of pleading, I finally managed to get some photographs of the post-affliction-recovered AV. AV visited his next door neighbor/friend for a little party and this friend caught AV in various moods on mellow (last) Sunday afternoon. I think I’ll post a few pictures for you.

AV’s mush and beard has never been thicker than what you can see. As always, I simply melt each and every time I see these pictures. Really, a gasp escapes my vocal appendages each and every time. A gasp of enamored love, a gasp of unprecedented fortune of having him as my lover!

I’m going to set up a poll asking to vote on the best picture of AV.

#1

 

#2

 

#3

 

#4

 

#5

 

#6

 

#7

 

#8

 

Of Horrorscopes

If I were a regular boring straight young adult from the southside of the Indian peninsula, my horoscope would have been published in various matrimonial magazines, websites and newspapers. Believe me, it would have been really platitudinal and it would have read something like this.

‘Dr. Kris, 28 year old orthopaedic surgeon (M. S. Orthopaedics (Mumbai), M. B. B. S. (Trivandrum)), 5’ 10”, slim, medium complexion seeks a bride 20 – 25 years of age, post graduate, preferably a doctor, 5’ 5” to 5’ 8”, slim, fair, beautiful who’s interested in music, reading, computers, etc. The bride shall be open to the option of staying abroad or in other cities in India. The bride shall also be from a wealthy family which will be willing to provide a luxury sedan and about 50 lakhs of rupees in cash.’

Now, the reason why I’m posting this is because during today’s conversation with my sister, she said that a couple of cousins of mine are getting their horoscopes published. This, down south, is considered a sign of maturing into this wonderful, responsible young adult who could lead a sparkling marital/parental life.

Awww, c’mon! These are the same people who haven’t gotten laid, haven’t been involved in a serious relationship and can’t practically take mature decisions. These are people who still drink without their parents knowing about it, who still live with their parents and who still make chauvinistic comments about women.

And naturally, such ‘horrorscopes’ lead to ‘not-so-special’ relationships!

I hope arranged marriages and marriages based on astrological features are abolished forever!

Shrink: Part 2

I called the shrink tonight. I was greeted by a very heavy tamil accent in her English which sort of reminded me of my not-so-wonderful times at Chennai. We started with the ‘getting to know Kris’ section where I sort of repeated the conversation with my sister. When the conversation suddenly veered into ‘maybe Kris isn’t gay, he might be confused’, I switched cars; from a docile Maruti 800 to an aggressive Scorpio.

I vehemently, almost violently, made it clear that I indeed am gay. And that I have every right to be proclaiming my gayness. She asked me why I should wear it on my sleeve. I retorted ‘Can’t you and your partner, assuming that you are straight that is, hold hands in a train? Why shouldn’t I be able to do that?’

I sort of sensed a sudden ‘taken by surprise’ element in her voice. She said that I could assume that she was straight and proceeded with the conversation. I found myself asking her again if she were actually straight or not. I didn’t get a clear answer because of the faulty Vodafone network.

We finally agreed to cooperate to try and help my sister get comfortable with my sexuality. I asked her if she could help my parents get to that same state. She said that she hardly knew me and she can’t do anything without meeting me. Fair, I thought. Unfair actually, when you think that you would have to travel all the way to Chennai and stay there for a few days to do that.

Come on! I can’t go and stay for a few days in Chennai! Anything more than a few hours in Chennai, is not recommended*,**. So, I directed her to my blog.

Since then, we have been exchanging e-mail regarding my wisdom in selecting an elderly, ailing partner. Needless to say, my vehemence has since then trebled.

(* Based on my personal observation. ** I’m very, very biased.)

A new shrink in my little pond

It sounded totally weird when my sister informed me that she wanted me to talk to a shrink all the way across from Chennai. Was it a ploy to convert me into straightdom? Or was it a genuine effort from her side to get more comfortable with my sexuality and the choice of partner?

In the conversation that I had with her, it became clear to me that she was trying her best to get comfortable. For that reason, she had gone to this shrink expecting to be told that it was entirely normal for anyone to be gay and that she needed to be supportive of such a person, especially so because it was her brother. Apparently this shrink was a high profile woman who wrote and talked in media about homosexuality and its ‘normalcy’.

But when she revealed to this shrink that I’m actually in a relationship with a geront, she put the hypothesis of ‘unsure’ sexuality on the table. Apparently, people who have been sexually abused in their childhood and who have not had a close relationship with their father could seek love from elderly gents without being sexually or emotionally tied up. And if they get tangled up in sex and emotions with an elderly man, there are ways to get them out of there.

Ahem! They include devious ways such as talking them out of it, putting them in a steamy room with voluptuous naked women etc. Or so, it seemed!

From my POV, I wanted to help my sister. I also wanted to help the shrink help my sister. This could eventually ease out my coming out experience to my parents.

I said ‘yes’.

And further down in the conversation, I detailed how I and Vinokur had carefully thought about premature separation and weighed in the options before committing ourselves. In her queries as to whether the lack of ‘straight’ experiences were the reason why I was actually gay, I told her that Vinokur has had many a lay with many a lass in his teenage and still he turned out to be as gay as he is.

Whew, after all this, I’m warily looking forward to this e-appointment or phone appointment with the shrink.

The Dadly sigh

The communication between me and my parents have been on the upswing for some time now. The major reason is that I’ve been taking tips from my Mom a lot these days regarding cooking and managing the kitchen etc. The more I ask her, the happier she seems to realize that I’m actually managing my fucking self in this apartment. That’s the good part of the deal.

The bad part is that I’ve to listen to boring, repetitive conversations with my Dad almost always. I hate that. But today, it went to another level. He asked me almost incredulously ‘Are you going to leave the medical profession altogether?’. It suddenly dawned on me that they had not clearly understood what my plan was. I spent a few minutes explaining that I have got a wonderful break in the music industry and I would like to go ahead and try my luck and earn some money. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll get back to being a surgeon.

I heard a prolonged sigh. Of disappointment and fear, I presume. I’ll refer the readers to ‘Nanny Diaries’, the movie, for understanding this particular situation better.

Scathing remarks?

Today, when we were coming back from the radio show, I ended up traveling in the cab with S. For a variety of reasons, some of which have been ‘illustrated’ on this blog, I have begun to resent his company while being outside; hanging out/traveling etc. He sort of drags me down with delays in getting dressed, in buying paan/gutkha, in being lazy and forgetful etc.

Today, despite me feeling all upbeat and stuff, I was led to a discussion and later on an argument with him. It was about, ahem, this blog itself. Apparently, his girlfriend, the wonderful young lady that she is, has chosen to read this blog. And she must have gone through a couple of bitter posts about S. She reported it to S. And S., wasn’t happy. Well I guess no one will be happy reading about themselves being crticised by anyone, especially a friend.

The point of the argument was that S. thought that I shouldn’t be writing personally harming stuff about my friends (or anybody for that matter) on my blog. If I had to write any scathing stuff, it shouldn’t have been out there.

I was furious. First of all, I didn’t really want to hurt him or anything. It’s just that this blog was created by me to vent out my feelings in whatsoever fashion they might evolve. It was a private blog and only my really close friends and other strangers from around the world who like blogtrotting have been reading this.

Then, for the promotion of ‘Noise Market’, I had created a page on this blog to get the Noise Market blog up on Google. That’s the only fucking link between the Noise Market blog and my personal blog. Apparently, this blog still comes up when people google ‘Noise Market’. And that’s when people apparently stumble over my writings which might lead to reactions.

The argument went so combative, that I told S. that I might even reveal his name on the blog. And he threatened that he might hack my blog and delete it forever.

The fact is that we both are a little cunty within ourselves and are not going to carry out the threats that we sent to each other.

All this does is that it leaves me with this 18$ question. Should/Can I write harming things about my friends on this blog?

The Radio Show

This again is a big surprise. We, ‘Noise Market’, seem to have impressed the organizers of the event that we played a week or so back. And they, in turn, had recommended us for a unplugged radio show in one of the big FM channels of Mumbai! WoW!

We practiced hard for this acoustic set yesterday night. We didn’t know that it was a live show which was going to be recorded and aired later on in the day. We went to their studios in the afternoon, and in a session which extended about an hour or so, we played 4 songs and were interviewed by a sweet, bubbly RJ. The interview was a funny little thing where we, despite demonstrating our extreme naivety, sounded interesting (or so I felt!). The show was finally aired in the evening and I have recorded the entire show!

I had SMSed a lot of my friends, GB friends and colleagues. A few of them returned compliments after listening to us live. And to be honest, I was also very happy in the way we sounded on the radio!

I have mp3s of our show but I don’t know if I should put them on this blog as my cynical, clandestine blog is already a controversial topic amongst the band mates.

UPDATE: I have uploaded the songs from the acoustic show on radio on the MySpace page for ‘Noise Market’. Because of aforementioned dual-identity crisis, I still can’t reveal the actual name of the band here on this blog. But you can obviously find it out in the MySpace page. I would urge all readers of this blog to keep sticking to the rules by not mixing these two identities. Anyway, here’s the link to the Noise Market MySpace page.

Conflicts within the band

Over the past few months, especially after S. got kicked out of the band and was embraced back, things haven’t been very smooth inside the band. There have been frayed nerves, heated arguments, rude disagreements and all that stuff.I must confess that, call it paranoia even, I am apparently harboring this fear of being informed: ‘Look Kris, your attitude doesn’t fit the band. Neither do you look like you are interested in the band. We think you should leave the band!’.

I don’t know why these thoughts are simmering inside my my head. It really doesn’t seem logical. But I’m sure about one fact, I have not been having the kind of fun that I used to have with the band. I don’t know exactly why.

Maybe it is a change within me as I have clearly indicated that I need my own private space. I don’t want my private life to get ruined because of the band. That’s especially true with regard to the apparent dearth of sense of keeping-time; especially, not wasting others’ precious time. Maybe it’s that we suddenly leapfrogged from an amateur fun band to a professional, workman like band.

Whatever it is, I don’t like it and I’d like to go back to the state when having fun was equally important.

Vinokur gets a shave

I’m relieved to say that my dearest Vinokur has been photographed in the fully glory of facial hairiness. Now, it was time to head to the Saloon. Both of us actually went to the Saloon on the same day. He got a #2 blade trimming on the entire scalp and beard. His Dominican barber left the moustache a little long.

The final effect? Vinokur seems to have lost about 5 years in an instant! The last time I saw him without a formidable beard was when he came back to his apartment from the hospital. Then he had looked frail and friable. Now that he has put on a lot of weight, the cut look actually looks good on him!

The movie pentathlon

Aah, a Sunday morning. I was up late enough to skip gym and early enough to go through the Sunday Times with a cup of coffee. As my eye lazily grazed over the movie pages, a stark realization struck me. There were 9 fucking Hollywood flicks worth watching running in the theatres in Mumbai. I felt ashamed of myself. I hadn’t watched a decent movie alone in about a month’s time.

And what did I do? I took a piece of paper and made a list of movies and the theatres in which they are being shown. And after that, I formed a brilliant arrow diagram which would enable to me to watch five movies on the stretch! That’s going to be one fucking record! I took a quick shower and walked out to a nearby multiplex to start out what was promising to be an incredible day!

The Incredible Hulk

This movie was the biggest of the blockbusters that I was watching today. It was a marvel flick and all. But as all super-duper animation flicks do to me, it was astonishingly disappointing. I don’t know what’s wrong with putting in some effort to create a natural, flowing feel to the bodies of these superhero characters. Every fucking movie in this genre including Spiderman etc disappoint me. The Jurassic park dinosaurs are much better. But when it comes to aping the human body movements, these animation experts are obscenely horrid. And to kill all the fun, the storyline and the characters in this movie weren’t all that good. Why can’t Marvel learn from X-men? I give it a mere 1.5 out of 5!

Get Smart

Anything with Steve Carrell comes out good these days. He’s funny, eccentric and weird. In this spy/chase comedy which has a lot of interesting stuff (read, male – male lip locks; two of them), the sheer sillyness of Steve Carrell propels the movie to a success story in my blog. The presence of pro wrestler Dwayne Johnson and The Great Khali sort of adds glamour to the proceedings. It is a letdown to those who admire works of Carrell such as Little Miss Sunshine. I give it a 3 out of 5.

Another reason as to why the movie was bad was because of the unexpected company of S. and Xander in the movie hall. Co-fucking-incidentally, they had taken the two next seats to mine and S. was sitting next to me. He has this irritating nature of a very bovine, low pitched, almost gasp like laughing fit whenever something remotely funny happens on the screen. Apart from that, he claps like a teenage cunt when something slightly funnier happens. Add to it the whole gutkha/pan rumination and spitting into whatever space that he can think of, let me assure you guys, movie watching is far from enjoyable.

Nanny Diaries

I took this movie upon primarily because being a nanny in NYC was one of the options that I could consider to move to the US. This actually was suggested by Vinokur’s sister, Cissy. I thought it was a cute suggestion. So, why not see what I might be walking into via this movie. The movie is funny and sardonically ironic. It has moments of my life imprinted in it; the protagonist decides to break away from a successful academic career to doing something (nannydom) for just taking a break! Her parent (s) don’t agree to this and therefore, she has to lie about what she’s doing. And she becomes a nanny! Remarkably similar to how my life’s shaping out to be. There are poignant moments in the movie when the daughter and the mother encounter each others feelings, aspirations and hopes. And it ends well with the mom understanding her daughter. Hope this happens to me as well! A good 3 out of 5!

In Bruges

This was the brilliant surprise that I had in store. It had been years since I watched a low profile dark comedy. This proved to be just that, but the best of the genre that I have watched. I’m going to put my neck across and say that it’s better than Pulp Fiction! Seriously hilarious! So much so that I would have committed suicide had S. been with me. Enthralling drama! And a speedy story line. You never get bored. Not even once. Corniness is suspiciously absent from the proceedings. The only part which could be thought about in revision is the crescendo/staccato which leads up to one murder attempt. But that’s just fucking 7 seconds of a one and half hour movie! This gets 5 out of 5! Bravo!

Sex and the City

After the last movie, I was so excited that I called Ray and Vinokur and told them about my experience. Both of them shared my excitement. Both asked me what I was watching next. Both told me that it was a promising movie and that I should enjoy it. Enjoy it, I did! This movie led to the depths of what make or break a relationship; love, sex, trust, jealousy, adultery, faith and truthfulness in a relationship. It really broke my views about marriage and the hype that associated with it. It especially is relevant in the phase of life, when I’m planning to get married to Vinokur, maybe just for the sake of getting married.
I give 3.5 out of 5.

At the end of it all, I was a little tired! But very very satisfied, having broken my own record by a cool 2 movies!