Monthly Archives: February 2010

The screening of Engayging Lives

Tonight, I’m going with a bunch of my wonderful colleagues and M-man (my date) to watch the screening of Engayging Lives, the documentary about urban openly gay people. Of course, the title is based on my blog and I have contributed the soundtrack to it. I hope it is as fulfilling as it promises to be. I’m attaching the invite, the schedule, and the Mid-Day article (from Thursday) about the same (which had me fearured in a photo taken at a relatively unfortunate moment)!


Promiscuity of the Soul

This poem was written by Vinokur and was inspired by my colleauge SS. Thanks to both!

There is, of course, the promiscuity of flesh –
reviled or celebrated through the ages.

There is, as well, a promiscuity of the soul.
It madly, blindly, greedily grasps at life.

From this multiplicity, this frenzied fielding of efforts,
good or bad ensues:

Confusion, incompletion, frustration, sorrow, wreckage.
And, finally,
madness.

Or multi-faceted genius
steeped in knowledge, experience, wisdom.
It wins the Nobel Prize.
Is hailed, admired by all.

What determines
which it will be?
Biochemistry.

A Streetcar Named Desire – All About My Insecurities

Yesterday, I went for a home-theatre movie triple bill at my friend’s home. I expected it to be pleasant – the movies, my friends, and the whole experience. It was almost totally pleasant. I was wishing for just the one thing – if only I could leave my mind back home. My insecurities keep popping up everywhere as potential triggers. They indeed did here!

We watched three classic movies – ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’, ‘All About Eve’ and ‘All About My Mother’. I watched two and a half as I felt sleepy and bored (I don’t know which preceded which) through the first one. Apart from a couple of friends of Marlon Brando’s who titillated my nonexistent tits, so to speak, I wasn’t touched, moved, aroused, amazed, astounded, or even interested.

After Desire, we watched the other two and I was increasingly pleasured by the two others – especially ‘All About My Mother’. My friend had chosen these movies as a planned crescendo because Mother had so many references to Eve and Desire. The movies were great, but I wished I could have watched them alone, so that I could pause when I wanted to, sleep when I needed to, and research when I’m forced to. That way I don’t need to be wary of the potentially hurtful discussions afterward, when I’d be clueless as a kitten to be swooped off by a vulturous eagle.

See, I don’t even remember the name of the characters. Almost everyone on the planet seems to know them by heart. And I can’t recollect the most obvious of such details without Wiking/IMBDing. I’m pathetic, I know. But I’ll leave whining for a little later.

I’m a tired man, I must remember. I’ve too many things on my plate that I can’t even possibly taste and I’m full almost upto my lower esophagus. I’m on antidepressants and antipsychotics which supervene on my efforts to maintain wakefullness. I’ve a minefield of a mind full of blackholes about insecurities of lack of knowledge and exposure to arts, history, and what not.

In such a state, it was foolish of me to have attempted instant redemption. No offence to my lover and friends, I’m not quite up to the mark. I suck at most things that I want to be good at. I agree that I’m good at most things that I end up devoting time to. But there are far too many things, far far too many things, and too little time, which might have been curtailed had it not been for these pills that I’m on.

No one can save this wreck from sinking. But how much more can it float?

Love no Superman

The Café, cool breeze flew past
You too, but you were on fire
Curiosity, Looked back at the sky
Started singing with my fingers

At the town square, saving lives
Not quite, but at least a head
Wanted to jot down a story,
You showed me kryptonite

Hush hush Mary Jane,
He’s from another galaxy
Of red dwarves and black holes
Slow down Mary Jane
He ain’t human
Can’t love without no soul

The cognac was smooth, in chalice
I was drowning, smoothly done in
Krypton calling, so far away
A few hours, at the speed of light

The galaxy had brilliant son
Black holes were rumbling, but
Waiting to devour kryptonite
Got traded in, cheaper than gravel

Hush hush Mary Jane,
He’s from another galaxy
Of red dwarves and black holes
Slow down Mary Jane
He ain’t human
Can’t love without no soul

I felt I was flying, without a cape
Was there a world to save?
The cries, and ‘why’s still linger
I made a mistake, you were Superman

Shame on you AMU and TOI

All of you might have heard, read, analysed, and formed opinion about the shocking news from Aligarh. Aligarh Muslim University’s (AMU) Modern Indian Languages Department’s Chairman Dr. Shrinivas Ramchandra Siras has been framed by a local TV news channel for having had consensual sex with an adult man (a rickshaw puller). Apart from the fact that he was framed for doing nothing illegal (as the Delhi High Court ruled last year), it’s shameful that the unversity has condemned Dr. Siras and his ‘actions’ and has played along with the sting operation. They have asked Dr. Siras to vacate the campus and have given him a week to do so. Dr. Siras has apparently offered to resign considering that he was close to retirement anyway.

There are so many questions that need to be answered. There are so many things which have been dealt with in the wrong manner. I believe that Dr. Siras shouldn’t have offered to resign – instead, he should have filed an FIR for invasion of privacy and defamation. He chose to not do that, perhaps due to some personal reasons that we aren’t aware of. I believe it is the responsibility of the rest of the educated society to help Dr. Siras regain his pride.

I happened to know about this scandal a little late – actually, I wasn’t even aware until my colleague and gay rights activist SM asked me whether I had seen the article on the frontpage of TOI. I was shocked when I read the news and was even more shocked to see the sensationalistic biased coverage given to the story by TOI. I have a few friends who are working with TOI, and I am perfectly aware that they can’t control what comes on the frontpage of a newspaper that seems to have chosen to be joker in the media circus.

Two days later hence however, I am happy to see the story on Hindustan Times about the strong support given to Dr. Siras by the academicia, one of whom is a dear friend of mine. Another story by Indian Express, which seems to uphold the values associated with unbiased news reporting, not only states the facts clearly but voices the opinion of a few sensible gay activists including those of a TOI/ET writer Vikram Doctor.

Please read these articles and help us to protest against the unethical and unjust treatment given to Dr. Siras.

Walking through the jungle

So you are walking toward your destination in a hurry. A guitar and a backpack strapped to your shoulder and back, respectively, and you are trying to make good time. You’re late by ten minutes already and are on the brink of drowning in shame and guilt. And you see these kinds of people walking in front of you:

  • Middle-aged women who walk slowly as if their uteruses would fall off if their perinei were stretched any further during the locomotive act – same reason why their husbands and spouses get more than adequate sleep in the night and grow obese.
  • Obese men walking slowly as if they are ambulating in their parallel universe where the gullies (and phalluses) are as wide as their waist size, but in reality their shrunken organs can’t penetrate the pubic bush-crown of the abovementioned class of women – the same reason why this unfortunate couple stopped making kids.
  • Their kids act as if they grew on a land called Imbecilia. Sometimes they pair up and walk slowly as if they want to beat their moms and dads in cuntitude.
  • And then there are hawkers, peddlers, and similar beings who forgot to scratch their balls/butt before leaving home.

All of them together create this spectacular series of pedestrian bottlenecks. The Mumbai Municipal Road Development Authority is in liaison with all of them, I think. How else could we explain the strategically placed barricades and dugouts which confuse the shit out of cunning canines and felines attempting to traverse the stretch?

This is when you feel a tad abusive and whiny. You also feel the world is being unreasonably unreasonable to you and your diabolical plans to save yourself from humiliation due to hypochronomodulation.

Love Pact

Two people in love like no other
Must realize that not much further
They will fall out of love for each other
That’s no shame, it’s quite natural

To ease the pain, my fellow lovers
Won’t you listen to me, and consider
To make a pact, preamble, for each other
For when there ain’t love, for the other

Put it down, when you still love each other
Your words will be kind and gentle, no bother
A play, a poem, some prose, oh whatever
To try and make it last forever

And act it out, without each other
When you have time sans the other
Because all that matters are the words, my lovers
And I know you love each other, like no other

Overwhelmed

Why do we give in so much
To life and all things such
We wish too much, I kiss too much
People, animals, and things as such

Why are we in pain so much
The pills can’t cure all this much
We work too much, I love too much
Work, hobby, and duties as such

Why don’t we gain so much
We are fools, I guessed as much
We pray too much, I cry too much
My heart, my soul, and all that mush

Why can’t we cease, all of us
We aren’t immortal, we know that much
I hope too much, can’t act that much
I surrender everything, all this fuss