Bring the Music

I have a confession to make.

I don’t listen to music much. And I’m a musician.

I know of professionals in other fields who do a similar thing. They work on their craft without spending much time surveying their competition or the landscape.

They have their reasons, but the lack of time or prioritization is not something I have come across.

I wish I could say the same but I’d be lying.

The last three days, as part of my music housekeeping, I have been taking my music out for runs. Today I took out some pop music out. You know–the thing that everyone does.

I can tell from my experience that it’s such a great accompaniment for exercise. But you don’t need me to tell you that.

I’m a fool.

Park or you?

Before dawn breaks, you wake. An urge pulls you to the park, untouched by your footsteps for too long.

You walk, you think, more in your head than on the path. The park greets you, but it’s strange, unfamiliar.

No dogs bark, no familiar nods. The grass, once lush, now fades.You sit, you think. On an old bench, memories flood in.

Not writing, just thinking. Has the park changed, or is it you? Observations mix with memories. Time passes.

They hold a lifetime of reflections. You question, you ponder. The park, yourself, everything feels new, yet old.

Change surrounds you, within and without.

Night and day

Is the last few seconds of the flickering flame of the solar lantern. The nagging buzz of mosquitoes spoils the evening. The moon creeps up behind the buildings, one of which wears a red light on the roof.

A rectangle of celebration stares at me through the reflections on the window pane. It’s the fourth of the workweek that lies ahead. There’s a hint of sadness in the tiredness that rears it’s head.

Memories of a melody float past you, as the clouds float past the moon. The tinkle of the bell and the ubiquitous trill. Another day gone. Soon it will be another week, then a month, and then a year.

Days Like These

You wake up tired because you didn’t sleep well. You didn’t sleep well because you were anxious. You were anxious because your partner was uncomfortable in your bed. Not because of you but because of things like the AC and the bed. Your cant didn’t help too.

Your cat makes it worse in the morning. You wake up to carnage. The mic cushion that you ordered–the first of the second set–is torn to shreds. She was anxious too. She thought this was prey. But it is still a thing that you need to take care of.

So what do you do? You reassess things. Things sure are messy. Life is messy. Not sure who said that but it does sound right. You look at your messy life and you try to remove the mess filter. You see a lovable cat, you see your playfully exhibitionistic partner, who purposefully walks toward the windows to give the hostelites a chance.

Even though this isn’t something you are comfortable with, you realize that you are seeing things differently. You see the blue skies. The hint of blistering summer. Gusts thanks to the change in the winds across the ocean. The monsoon is still months away, but somewhere it is being birthed.

So what about the last piece of the mess. You realize that you have been looking to buy a mic that will not cause the cat to want to tear it apart. You have been wanting to buy it for a long time. Maybe about 25 years. You didn’t buy it because you thought you would buy it next year. Then the year after. And so on.

Once you do that–now one needs to be able to do that–you feel happy. You have done something right. Something that will be one of the things that will prevent your messy life from dragging you down even with the messy filter up.

And then you wonder: how many such little things must you do to remove the messiness. You realize that the messiness will continue to grow no matter how many little things you do.

Learning and Teaching

The sky was bluer than the usual smoggy grey, but the breeze was almost non-existent. I was earlier than the usual time that I come in or go out, and the entrance to the building wore people that I don’t usually see and those who don’t usually see me go in and out.

I was in runners of both types and sporty tee, wearing headphones and starting the jog just as I got off the stairs that lead out from the landing where the lifts end.

As I start my run, I realize that this is most definitely a better part of the day for the run. It also seems to give me a clean break between the late afternoon and an early evening, and another chance at establishing a clear break between work and other work. Maybe this is why I found my cadence different, more assured.

After crossing through the smaller of the two parks, and traversing the traffic-ridden street to cross over to the other, I again noticed the change in the constituents of the crowd that throngs the same streets. How could a mere hour, maybe an hour and a half, change the entire world.

Inside the walkway of the bigger park, things settled into more like the usual routine. I was feeling good enough to do two rounds instead of one. Until I saw the boy again. He was not lying down. Instead, he came up on me in a corner of the walkway and he was walking the usual jagged way, looking up at the trees, trying to find something that would keep him occupied for the next hour or so.

That brought me back to what I used to write about the boy, which brought me back to what I must write for an interview that is being recorded at work. I needed to find a good opening line for a new series of content that we are recording.

After my round, I looked for an empty park bench, and I found one that I usually don’t sit on. I sat down and started rattling off some lines that I had been thinking about. I didn’t even let my breathing settle. A couple of rounds of this and I was dissatisfied. Then I got distracted by the under-arm cricket match unfolding in the playing area across another stretch of a well-maintained lawn.

When I came back to my senses, I took down what I had written in my mind. I rehearsed it a couple of times until I performed it on the phone. More satisfied than otherwise, I started back where the boy was and I couldn’t find him. I could have gone the long way around the walkway to find him, but instead I walked back home.

I ended up sharing my copy and the recording with my work colleagues, who seemed to react to it well. One of them even give me a good idea to improve it. The evening had promised a lot and it delivered almost as much.

I headed to the shower. It was almost time for me to get ready, wear my favorite tie, and start the webinar. I was about to speak about the importance of maintaining accuracy in scientific writing. I had just learned a lesson in terms of letting your mind wander to come up with creative writing.

Another day, another night

Today is the third day of me pretty much doing the same thing. Going the to mall and checking out blazers, that kind of stuff. But today was different. Today I knew what I had to do. There is less uncertainty about different choices and prices. I knew I had to get something and I just did that.

I ran into a little problem though, which I had the luxury to smooth off with beer. I had to get one of the blazers altered, which would take me about an hour. That led me to the most obvious place to get a drink, but that was disappointing. Instead, I went to a dinner-type place and had a couple of draughts.

If you know more, a beer and a half do me a lot of good in terms of loosening up. I enjoyed reading up on the news, catching up on the latest promo by The Rock, and eyeing the older member of a transgenerational M2M couple having beers a few tables over to my right.

I’m back at home and after having dinner, the beers are still singing to me. I’m singing to myself. I’m thinking of working on some music. Maybe even record a song for someone at work who’s celebrating their 17th work anniversary.

Ha, marvel at how different life is on days merely separated by a sunrise. Also, marvel at how beers make me feel like how I think I should.

One Day Changes Everything

Things change drastically over 24 hours. I guess that is the premise of a whole bunch of fiction. But it can also be the same in reality.

For example, this morning, I finished the long-pending gorgeous book All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy. Now I’m about to start The Passenger by McCarthy, which, by everything that I have come across so far, seems to be a great book.

Continuing with the book theme, I feel happier today because I have some space to start other books. I have finished Kindred by Octavia Butler and I’m almost halfway through the other book-club read-along Endymion by Dan Simmons, I am in a position to restart reading some other books that have been on the back burner, including a couple of Malayalam books Mullaranjanam and Aadujeevitham. I have to finish the latter before the movie arrives.

Yesterday, the experience of shopping was anxious and unpleasant. Today, I went back to a couple of shopping malls to do the same damn thing, but had a different experience. Probably because I had prepared for the exercise because of my visit yesterday.

Today, despite me being late after everything, I feel energetic enough to want to work on music. Now that’s an important change. I have generally felt a lot of self-friction in the last few months, and this feels like a welcome change.

PS: I’m looking for a couple of blazers with which I can pull off a smart casual look for my hectic touring workshop.